"One evening as I was lying flat on the deck of my steamboat,
I heard voices approaching--and there were the nephew and the uncle
strolling along the bank. I laid my head on my arm again,
and had nearly lost myself in a doze, when somebody said in my ear,
as it were: `I am as harmless as a little child, but I don't
like to be dictated to. Am I the manager--or am I not?
I was ordered to send him there. It's incredible.'
. . . I became aware that the two were standing on the shore
alongside the forepart of the steamboat, just below my head.
I did not move; it did not occur to me to move: I was sleepy.
`It IS unpleasant,' grunted the uncle. `He has asked the
Administration to be sent there,' said the other, `with the idea
of showing what he could do; and I was instructed accordingly.
Look at the influence that man must have. Is it not frightful?'
They both agreed it was frightful, then made several bizarre remarks:
`Make rain and fine weather--one man--the Council--by the nose'--
bits of absurd sentences that got the better of my drowsiness,
so that I had pretty near the whole of my wits about me when the
uncle said, `The climate may do away with this difficulty for you.
Is he alone there?' `Yes,' answered the manager; `he sent
his assistant down the river with a note to me in these terms:
"Clear this poor devil out of the country, and don't
bother sending more of that sort. I had rather be alone
than have the kind of men you can dispose of with me."
It was more than a year ago. Can you imagine such impudence!'
`Anything since then?' asked the other, hoarsely. `Ivory,' jerked
the nephew; `lots of it--prime sort--lots--most annoying,
from him.' `And with that?' questioned the heavy rumble.
`Invoice,' was the reply fired out, so to speak. Then silence.
They had been talking about Kurtz.
"I was broad awake by this time, but, lying perfectly at ease,
remained still, having no inducement to change my position.
`How did that ivory come all this way?' growled the elder man,
who seemed very vexed. The other explained that it had come
with a fleet of canoes in charge of an English half-caste
clerk Kurtz had with him; that Kurtz had apparently intended
to return himself, the station being by that time bare
of goods and stores, but after coming three hundred miles,
had suddenly decided to go back, which he started to do alone
in a small dug-out with four paddlers, leaving the half-caste
to continue down the river with the ivory. The two fellows
there seemed astounded at anybody attempting such a thing.
They were at a loss for an adequate motive. As to me, I seemed
to see Kurtz for the first time. It was a distinct glimpse:
the dug-out, four paddling savages, and the lone white man
turning his back suddenly on the headquarters, on relief,
on thoughts of home--perhaps; setting his face towards the depths
of the wilderness, towards his empty and desolate station.
I did not know the motive. Perhaps he was just simply a fine
fellow who stuck to his work for its own sake. His name,
you understand, had not been pronounced once. He was `that man.'
The half-caste, who, as far as I could see, had conducted
a difficult trip with great prudence and pluck, was invariably
alluded to as `that scoundrel.' The `scoundrel' had reported
that the `man' had been very ill--had recovered imperfectly.
. . . The two below me moved away then a few paces,
and strolled back and forth at some little distance. I heard:
`Military post--doctor--two hundred miles--quite alone now--
unavoidable delays--nine months--no news--strange rumors.'
They approached again, just as the manager was saying, `No one,
as far as I know, unless a species of wandering trader--
a pestilential fellow, snapping ivory from the natives.'
Who was it they were talking about now? I gathered in snatches
that this was some man supposed to be in Kurtz's district, and of whom
the manager did not approve. `We will not be free from unfair
competition till one of these fellows is hanged for an example,'
he said. `Certainly,' grunted the other; `get him hanged!
Why not? Anything--anything can be done in this country.
That's what I say; nobody here, you understand, HERE, can endanger
your position. And why? You stand the climate--you outlast them all.
The danger is in Europe; but there before I left I took care to--'
They moved off and whispered, then their voices rose again.
`The extraordinary series of delays is not my fault.
I did my possible.' The fat man sighed, `Very sad.'
`And the pestiferous absurdity of his talk,' continued the other;
`he bothered me enough when he was here. "Each station
should be like a beacon on the road towards better things,
a center for trade of course, but also for humanizing,
improving, instructing." Conceive you--that ass!
And he wants to be manager! No, it's--' Here he got choked
by excessive indignation, and I lifted my head the least bit.
I was surprised to see how near they were--right under me.
I could have spat upon their hats. They were looking on the ground,
absorbed in thought. The manager was switching his leg
with a slender twig: his sagacious relative lifted his head.
`You have been well since you came out this time?' he asked.
The other gave a start. `Who? I? Oh! Like a charm--like a charm.
But the rest--oh, my goodness! All sick. They die so quick,
too, that I haven't the time to send them out of the country--
it's incredible!' `H'm. Just so,' grunted the uncle.
`Ah! my boy, trust to this--I say, trust to this.'
I saw him extend his short flipper of an arm for a gesture
that took in the forest, the creek, the mud, the river,--
seemed to beckon with a dishonoring flourish before the sunlit
face of the land a treacherous appeal to the lurking death,
to the hidden evil, to the profound darkness of its heart.
It was so startling that I leaped to my feet and looked
back at the edge of the forest, as though I had expected
an answer of some sort to that black display of confidence.
You know the foolish notions that come to one sometimes.
The high stillness confronted these two figures with its ominous
patience, waiting for the passing away of a fantastic invasion.
"They swore aloud together--out of sheer fright, I believe--then pretending
not to know anything of my existence, turned back to the station.
The sun was low; and leaning forward side by side, they seemed to be
tugging painfully uphill their two ridiculous shadows of unequal length,
that trailed behind them slowly over the tall grass without bending
a single blade.
"In a few days the Eldorado Expedition went into the patient
wilderness, that closed upon it as the sea closes over a diver.
Long afterwards the news came that all the donkeys were dead.
I know nothing as to the fate of the less valuable animals.
They, no doubt, like the rest of us, found what they deserved.
I did not inquire. I was then rather excited at the prospect of meeting
Kurtz very soon. When I say very soon I mean it comparatively.
It was just two months from the day we left the creek when we
came to the bank below Kurtz's station.
"Going up that river was like traveling back to the earliest beginnings
of the world, when vegetation rioted on the earth and the big trees
were kings. An empty stream, a great silence, an impenetrable forest.
The air was warm, thick, heavy, sluggish. There was no joy
in the brilliance of sunshine. The long stretches of the waterway
ran on, deserted, into the gloom of overshadowed distances.
On silvery sandbanks hippos and alligators sunned themselves side by side.
The broadening waters flowed through a mob of wooded islands;
you lost your way on that river as you would in a desert, and butted
all day long against shoals, trying to find the channel, till you
thought yourself bewitched and cut off for ever from everything you
had known once--somewhere--far away--in another existence perhaps.
There were moments when one's past came back to one, as it
will sometimes when you have not a moment to spare to yourself;
but it came in the shape of an unrestful and noisy dream,
remembered with wonder amongst the overwhelming realities
of this strange world of plants, and water, and silence.
And this stillness of life did not in the least resemble a peace.
It was the stillness of an implacable force brooding over an
inscrutable intention. It looked at you with a vengeful aspect.
I got used to it afterwards; I did not see it any more; I had no time.
I had to keep guessing at the channel; I had to discern, mostly by
inspiration, the signs of hidden banks; I watched for sunken stones;
I was learning to clap my teeth smartly before my heart flew out,
when I shaved by a fluke some infernal sly old snag that would
have ripped the life out of the tin-pot steamboat and drowned
all the pilgrims; I had to keep a look-out for the signs of dead
wood we could cut up in the night for next day's steaming.
When you have to attend to things of that sort, to the mere incidents
of the surface, the reality--the reality, I tell you--fades. The inner
truth is hidden--luckily, luckily. But I felt it all the same;
I felt often its mysterious stillness watching me at my monkey tricks,
just as it watches you fellows performing on your respective
tight-ropes for--what is it? half-a-crown a tumble--"
"Try to be civil, Marlow," growled a voice, and I knew there was at least
one listener awake besides myself.
"I beg your pardon. I forgot the heartache which makes up
the rest of the price. And indeed what does the price matter,
if the trick be well done? You do your tricks very well.
And I didn't do badly either, since I managed not to sink
that steamboat on my first trip. It's a wonder to me yet.
Imagine a blindfolded man set to drive a van over a bad road.
I sweated and shivered over that business considerably,
I can tell you. After all, for a seaman, to scrape the bottom
of the thing that's supposed to float all the time under
his care is the unpardonable sin. No one may know of it,
but you never forget the thump--eh? A blow on the very heart.
You remember it, you dream of it, you wake up at night
and think of it--years after--and go hot and cold all over.
I don't pretend to say that steamboat floated all the time.
More than once she had to wade for a bit, with twenty cannibals
splashing around and pushing. We had enlisted some of these chaps
on the way for a crew. Fine fellows--cannibals--in their place.
They were men one could work with, and I am grateful to them.
And, after all, they did not eat each other before my face:
they had brought along a provision of hippo-meat which
went rotten, and made the mystery of the wilderness stink
in my nostrils. Phoo! I can sniff it now. I had the manager
on board and three or four pilgrims with their staves--
all complete. Sometimes we came upon a station close by the bank,
clinging to the skirts of the unknown, and the white men
rushing out of a tumble-down hovel, with great gestures
of joy and surprise and welcome, seemed very strange,--
had the appearance of being held there captive by a spell.
The word ivory would ring in the air for a while--and on we went
again into the silence, along empty reaches, round the still bends,
between the high walls of our winding way, reverberating in
hollow claps the ponderous beat of the stern-wheel. Trees,
trees, millions of trees, massive, immense, running up high;
and at their foot, hugging the bank against the stream,
crept the little begrimed steamboat, like a sluggish beetle
crawling on the floor of a lofty portico. It made you feel
very small, very lost, and yet it was not altogether depressing,
that feeling. After all, if you were small, the grimy
beetle crawled on--which was just what you wanted it to do.
Where the pilgrims imagined it crawled to I don't know.
To some place where they expected to get something, I bet!
For me it crawled toward Kurtz--exclusively; but when
the steam-pipes started leaking we crawled very slow.
The reaches opened before us and closed behind, as if the forest had
stepped leisurely across the water to bar the way for our return.
We penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness.
It was very quiet there. At night sometimes the roll
of drums behind the curtain of trees would run up the river
and remain sustained faintly, as if hovering in the air
high over our heads, till the first break of day.
Whether it meant war, peace, or prayer we could not tell.
The dawns were heralded by the descent of a chill stillness;
the woodcutters slept, their fires burned low; the snapping of a twig
would make you start. We were wanderers on a prehistoric earth,
on an earth that wore the aspect of an unknown planet.
We could have fancied ourselves the first of men taking
possession of an accursed inheritance, to be subdued at the cost
of profound anguish and of excessive toil. But suddenly, as we
struggled round a bend, there would be a glimpse of rush walls,
of peaked grass-roofs, a burst of yells, a whirl of black limbs,
a mass of hands clapping, of feet stamping, of bodies swaying,
of eyes rolling, under the droop of heavy and motionless foliage.
The steamer toiled along slowly on the edge of a black
and incomprehensible frenzy. The prehistoric man was
cursing us, praying to us, welcoming us--who could tell?
We were cut off from the comprehension of our surroundings;
we glided past like phantoms, wondering and secretly appalled,
as sane men would be before an enthusiastic outbreak in a madhouse.
We could not understand, because we were too far and could
not remember, because we were traveling in the night of
first ages, of those ages that are gone, leaving hardly a sign--
and no memories.
"The earth seemed unearthly. We are accustomed to look
upon the shackled form of a conquered monster, but there--
there you could look at a thing monstrous and free.
It was unearthly, and the men were--No, they were not inhuman.
Well, you know, that was the worst of it--this suspicion
of their not being inhuman. It would come slowly to one.
They howled, and leaped, and spun, and made horrid faces;
but what thrilled you was just the thought of their humanity--
like yours--the thought of your remote kinship with this
wild and passionate uproar. Ugly. Yes, it was ugly enough;
but if you were man enough you would admit to yourself
that there was in you just the faintest trace of a response
to the terrible frankness of that noise, a dim suspicion
of there being a meaning in it which you--you so remote from
the night of first ages--could comprehend. And why not?
The mind of man is capable of anything--because everything is in it,
all the past as well as all the future. What was there after all?
Joy, fear, sorrow, devotion, valor, rage--who can tell?--
but truth--truth stripped of its cloak of time. Let the fool
gape and shudder--the man knows, and can look on without a wink.
But he must at least be as much of a man as these on the shore.
He must meet that truth with his own true stuff--with his
own inborn strength. Principles? Principles won't do.
Acquisitions, clothes, pretty rags--rags that would fly off
at the first good shake. No; you want a deliberate belief.
An appeal to me in this fiendish row--is there? Very well;
I hear; I admit, but I have a voice too, and for good or evil
mine is the speech that cannot be silenced. Of course, a fool,
what with sheer fright and fine sentiments, is always safe.
Who's that grunting? You wonder I didn't go ashore for a howl
and a dance? Well, no--I didn't. Fine sentiments, you say?
Fine sentiments, be hanged! I had no time. I had to mess
about with white-lead and strips of woolen blanket helping
to put bandages on those leaky steam-pipes--I tell you.
I had to watch the steering, and circumvent those snags,
and get the tin-pot along by hook or by crook. There was
surface-truth enough in these things to save a wiser man.
And between whiles I had to look after the savage who was fireman.
He was an improved specimen; he could fire up a vertical boiler.
He was there below me, and, upon my word, to look at him
was as edifying as seeing a dog in a parody of breeches
and a feather hat, walking on his hind-legs. A few
months of training had done for that really fine chap.
He squinted at the steam-gauge and at the water-gauge with an
evident effort of intrepidity--and he had filed teeth too,
the poor devil, and the wool of his pate shaved into queer
patterns, and three ornamental scars on each of his cheeks.
He ought to have been clapping his hands and stamping his
feet on the bank, instead of which he was hard at work,
a thrall to strange witchcraft, full of improving knowledge.
He was useful because he had been instructed; and what he knew
was this--that should the water in that transparent thing disappear,
the evil spirit inside the boiler would get angry through
the greatness of his thirst, and take a terrible vengeance.
So he sweated and fired up and watched the glass fearfully
(with an impromptu charm, made of rags, tied to his arm, and a
piece of polished bone, as big as a watch, stuck flatways through
his lower lip), while the wooded banks slipped past us slowly,
the short noise was left behind, the interminable miles of silence--
and we crept on, towards Kurtz. But the snags were thick,
the water was treacherous and shallow, the boiler seemed indeed
to have a sulky devil in it, and thus neither that fireman nor
I had any time to peer into our creepy thoughts.
"Some fifty miles below the Inner Station we came upon a hut of reeds,
an inclined and melancholy pole, with the unrecognizable tatters of what had
been a flag of some sort flying from it, and a neatly stacked woodpile.
This was unexpected. We came to the bank, and on the stack of firewood
found a flat piece of board with some faded pencil-writing on it.
When deciphered it said: `Wood for you. Hurry up. Approach cautiously.'
There was a signature, but it was illegible--not Kurtz--a much longer word.
`Hurry up.' Where? Up the river? `Approach cautiously.'
We had not done so. But the warning could not have been meant
for the place where it could be only found after approach.
Something was wrong above. But what--and how much? That was the question.
We commented adversely upon the imbecility of that telegraphic style.
The bush around said nothing, and would not let us look very far, either.
A torn curtain of red twill hung in the doorway of the hut,
and flapped sadly in our faces. The dwelling was dismantled;
but we could see a white man had lived there not very long ago.
There remained a rude table--a plank on two posts; a heap of rubbish
reposed in a dark corner, and by the door I picked up a book.
It had lost its covers, and the pages had been thumbed into a state
of extremely dirty softness; but the back had been lovingly
stitched afresh with white cotton thread, which looked clean yet.
It was an extraordinary find. Its title was, `An Inquiry into some
Points of Seamanship,' by a man Tower, Towson--some such name--
Master in his Majesty's Navy. The matter looked dreary reading enough,
with illustrative diagrams and repulsive tables of figures,
and the copy was sixty years old. I handled this amazing antiquity with
the greatest possible tenderness, lest it should dissolve in my hands.
Within, Towson or Towser was inquiring earnestly into the breaking
strain of ships' chains and tackle, and other such matters.
Not a very enthralling book; but at the first glance you could see
there a singleness of intention, an honest concern for the right
way of going to work, which made these humble pages, thought out
so many years ago, luminous with another than a professional light.
The simple old sailor, with his talk of chains and purchases,
made me forget the jungle and the pilgrims in a delicious sensation
of having come upon something unmistakably real. Such a book being
there was wonderful enough; but still more astounding were the notes
penciled in the margin, and plainly referring to the text. I couldn't
believe my eyes! They were in cipher! Yes, it looked like cipher.
Fancy a man lugging with him a book of that description into this
nowhere and studying it--and making notes--in cipher at that!
It was an extravagant mystery.
"I had been dimly aware for some time of a worrying noise,
and when I lifted my eyes I saw the wood-pile was gone,
and the manager, aided by all the pilgrims, was shouting at
me from the river-side. I slipped the book into my pocket.
I assure you to leave off reading was like tearing myself away
from the shelter of an old and solid friendship.
"I started the lame engine ahead. `It must be this miserable trader--
this intruder,' exclaimed the manager, looking back malevolently
at the place we had left. `He must be English,' I said.
`It will not save him from getting into trouble if he is not careful,'
muttered the manager darkly. I observed with assumed innocence
that no man was safe from trouble in this world.
"The current was more rapid now, the steamer seemed at her
last gasp, the stern-wheel flopped languidly, and I caught myself
listening on tiptoe for the next beat of the boat, for in sober
truth I expected the wretched thing to give up every moment.
It was like watching the last flickers of a life. But still we crawled.
Sometimes I would pick out a tree a little way ahead to measure our
progress towards Kurtz by, but I lost it invariably before we got abreast.
To keep the eyes so long on one thing was too much for human patience.
The manager displayed a beautiful resignation. I fretted and fumed and took
to arguing with myself whether or no I would talk openly with Kurtz;
but before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech
or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility.
What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter
who was manager? One gets sometimes such a flash of insight.
The essentials of this affair lay deep under the surface, beyond my reach,
and beyond my power of meddling.
"Towards the evening of the second day we judged ourselves
about eight miles from Kurtz's station. I wanted to push on;
but the manager looked grave, and told me the navigation up
there was so dangerous that it would be advisable, the sun being
very low already, to wait where we were till next morning.
Moreover, he pointed out that if the warning to approach
cautiously were to be followed, we must approach in daylight--
not at dusk, or in the dark. This was sensible enough.
Eight miles meant nearly three hours' steaming for us, and I
could also see suspicious ripples at the upper end of the reach.
Nevertheless, I was annoyed beyond expression at the delay,
and most unreasonably too, since one night more could not
matter much after so many months. As we had plenty of wood,
and caution was the word, I brought up in the middle of the stream.
The reach was narrow, straight, with high sides like a railway cutting.
The dusk came gliding into it long before the sun had set.
The current ran smooth and swift, but a dumb immobility sat
on the banks. The living trees, lashed together by the creepers
and every living bush of the undergrowth, might have been changed
into stone, even to the slenderest twig, to the lightest leaf.
It was not sleep--it seemed unnatural, like a state of trance.
Not the faintest sound of any kind could be heard.
You looked on amazed, and began to suspect yourself of being deaf--
then the night came suddenly, and struck you blind as well.
About three in the morning some large fish leaped, and the loud
splash made me jump as though a gun had been fired.
When the sun rose there was a white fog, very warm and clammy,
and more blinding than the night. It did not shift or drive;
it was just there, standing all round you like something solid.
At eight or nine, perhaps, it lifted as a shutter lifts.
We had a glimpse of the towering multitude of trees, of the immense
matted jungle, with the blazing little ball of the sun hanging
over it--all perfectly still--and then the white shutter came
down again, smoothly, as if sliding in greased grooves. I ordered
the chain, which we had begun to heave in, to be paid out again.
Before it stopped running with a muffled rattle, a cry, a very loud cry,
as of infinite desolation, soared slowly in the opaque air.
It ceased. A complaining clamor, modulated in savage discords,
filled our ears. The sheer unexpectedness of it made my hair
stir under my cap. I don't know how it struck the others:
to me it seemed as though the mist itself had screamed, so suddenly,
and apparently from all sides at once, did this tumultuous
and mournful uproar arise. It culminated in a hurried outbreak
of almost intolerably excessive shrieking, which stopped short,
leaving us stiffened in a variety of silly attitudes, and obstinately
listening to the nearly as appalling and excessive silence.
`Good God! What is the meaning--?' stammered at my elbow one of
the pilgrims,--a little fat man, with sandy hair and red whiskers,
who wore side-spring boots, and pink pyjamas tucked into his socks.
Two others remained open-mouthed a whole minute, then dashed
into the little cabin, to rush out incontinently and stand darting
scared glances, with Winchesters at `ready' in their hands.
What we could see was just the steamer we were on, her outlines blurred
as though she had been on the point of dissolving, and a misty strip
of water, perhaps two feet broad, around her--and that was all.
The rest of the world was nowhere, as far as our eyes and ears
were concerned. Just nowhere. Gone, disappeared; swept off
without leaving a whisper or a shadow behind.
"I went forward, and ordered the chain to be hauled in short,
so as to be ready to trip the anchor and move the steamboat at
once if necessary. `Will they attack?' whispered an awed voice.
`We will all be butchered in this fog,' murmured another.
The faces twitched with the strain, the hands trembled slightly,
the eyes forgot to wink. It was very curious to see the contrast
of expressions of the white men and of the black fellows of our crew,
who were as much strangers to that part of the river as we,
though their homes were only eight hundred miles away.
The whites, of course greatly discomposed, had besides a curious
look of being painfully shocked by such an outrageous row.
The others had an alert, naturally interested expression;
but their faces were essentially quiet, even those of the one or two
who grinned as they hauled at the chain. Several exchanged short,
grunting phrases, which seemed to settle the matter to
their satisfaction. Their headman, a young, broad-chested black,
severely draped in dark-blue fringed cloths, with fierce
nostrils and his hair all done up artfully in oily ringlets,
stood near me. `Aha!' I said, just for good fellowship's sake.
`Catch `im,' he snapped, with a bloodshot widening of his eyes
and a flash of sharp teeth--'catch `im. Give `im to us.'
`To you, eh?' I asked; `what would you do with them?' `Eat `im!'
he said curtly, and, leaning his elbow on the rail, looked out
into the fog in a dignified and profoundly pensive attitude.
I would no doubt have been properly horrified, had it not
occurred to me that he and his chaps must be very hungry:
that they must have been growing increasingly hungry for at
least this month past. They had been engaged for six months
(I don't think a single one of them had any clear idea of time,
as we at the end of countless ages have. They still belonged
to the beginnings of time--had no inherited experience to teach
them as it were), and of course, as long as there was a piece
of paper written over in accordance with some farcical law
or other made down the river, it didn't enter anybody's head
to trouble how they would live. Certainly they had brought
with them some rotten hippo-meat, which couldn't have lasted
very long, anyway, even if the pilgrims hadn't, in the midst
of a shocking hullabaloo, thrown a considerable quantity
of it overboard. It looked like a high-handed proceeding;
but it was really a case of legitimate self-defense. You can't
breathe dead hippo waking, sleeping, and eating, and at the same
time keep your precarious grip on existence. Besides that,
they had given them every week three pieces of brass wire,
each about nine inches long; and the theory was they were to buy
their provisions with that currency in river-side villages.
You can see how THAT worked. There were either no villages,
or the people were hostile, or the director, who like the rest
of us fed out of tins, with an occasional old he-goat thrown in,
didn't want to stop the steamer for some more or less
recondite reason. So, unless they swallowed the wire itself,
or made loops of it to snare the fishes with, I don't see
what good their extravagant salary could be to them.
I must say it was paid with a regularity worthy of a large and
honorable trading company. For the rest, the only thing to eat--
though it didn't look eatable in the least--I saw in their
possession was a few lumps of some stuff like half-cooked dough,
of a dirty lavender color, they kept wrapped in leaves,
and now and then swallowed a piece of, but so small that it
seemed done more for the looks of the thing than for any serious
purpose of sustenance. Why in the name of all the gnawing devils
of hunger they didn't go for us--they were thirty to five--
and have a good tuck in for once, amazes me now when I think of it.
They were big powerful men, with not much capacity to weigh
the consequences, with courage, with strength, even yet, though their
skins were no longer glossy and their muscles no longer hard.
And I saw that something restraining, one of those human
secrets that baffle probability, had come into play there.
I looked at them with a swift quickening of interest--
not because it occurred to me I might be eaten by them before
very long, though I own to you that just then I perceived--
in a new light, as it were--how unwholesome the pilgrims looked,
and I hoped, yes, I positively hoped, that my aspect was not so--
what shall I say?--so--unappetizing: a touch of fantastic
vanity which fitted well with the dream-sensation that pervaded
all my days at that time. Perhaps I had a little fever too.
One can't live with one's finger everlastingly on one's pulse.
I had often `a little fever,' or a little touch of other things--
the playful paw-strokes of the wilderness, the preliminary trifling
before the more serious onslaught which came in due course.
Yes; I looked at them as you would on any human being,
with a curiosity of their impulses, motives, capacities,
weaknesses, when brought to the test of an inexorable
physical necessity. Restraint! What possible restraint?
Was it superstition, disgust, patience, fear--or some kind
of primitive honor? No fear can stand up to hunger, no patience
can wear it out, disgust simply does not exist where hunger is;
and as to superstition, beliefs, and what you may call principles,
they are less than chaff in a breeze. Don't you know
the devilry of lingering starvation, its exasperating torment,
its black thoughts, its somber and brooding ferocity? Well, I do.
It takes a man all his inborn strength to fight hunger properly.
It's really easier to face bereavement, dishonor, and the perdition
of one's soul--than this kind of prolonged hunger. Sad, but true.
And these chaps too had no earthly reason for any kind
of scruple. Restraint! I would just as soon have expected restraint
from a hyena prowling amongst the corpses of a battlefield.
But there was the fact facing me--the fact dazzling, to be seen,
like the foam on the depths of the sea, like a ripple on an
unfathomable enigma, a mystery greater--when I thought of it--
than the curious, inexplicable note of desperate grief in this
savage clamor that had swept by us on the river-bank, behind
the blind whiteness of the fog.
"Two pilgrims were quarreling in hurried whispers as to
which bank. `Left.' `No, no; how can you? Right, right, of course.'
`It is very serious,' said the manager's voice behind me; `I would be
desolated if anything should happen to Mr. Kurtz before we came up.'
I looked at him, and had not the slightest doubt he was sincere.
He was just the kind of man who would wish to preserve appearances.
That was his restraint. But when he muttered something about
going on at once, I did not even take the trouble to answer him.
I knew, and he knew, that it was impossible. Were we to let go our
hold of the bottom, we would be absolutely in the air--in space.
We wouldn't be able to tell where we were going to--whether up
or down stream, or across--till we fetched against one bank
or the other,--and then we wouldn't know at first which it was.
Of course I made no move. I had no mind for a smash-up. You couldn't
imagine a more deadly place for a shipwreck. Whether drowned at once
or not, we were sure to perish speedily in one way or another.
`I authorize you to take all the risks,' he said, after a short silence.
`I refuse to take any,' I said shortly; which was just the answer
he expected, though its tone might have surprised him.
`Well, I must defer to your judgment. You are captain,' he said,
with marked civility. I turned my shoulder to him in sign of
my appreciation, and looked into the fog. How long would it last?
It was the most hopeless look-out. The approach to this Kurtz grubbing
for ivory in the wretched bush was beset by as many dangers as though
he had been an enchanted princess sleeping in a fabulous castle.
`Will they attack, do you think?' asked the manager,
in a confidential tone.
"I did not think they would attack, for several obvious reasons.
The thick fog was one. If they left the bank in their canoes they
would get lost in it, as we would be if we attempted to move.
Still, I had also judged the jungle of both banks quite impenetrable--
and yet eyes were in it, eyes that had seen us. The river-side
bushes were certainly very thick; but the undergrowth behind
was evidently penetrable. However, during the short lift I
had seen no canoes anywhere in the reach--certainly not abreast
of the steamer. But what made the idea of attack inconceivable
to me was the nature of the noise--of the cries we had heard.
They had not the fierce character boding of immediate hostile intention.
Unexpected, wild, and violent as they had been, they had given me
an irresistible impression of sorrow. The glimpse of the steamboat
had for some reason filled those savages with unrestrained grief.
The danger, if any, I expounded, was from our proximity to a great
human passion let loose. Even extreme grief may ultimately vent
itself in violence--but more generally takes the form of apathy.
. . .
"You should have seen the pilgrims stare! They had no heart to grin, or even
to revile me; but I believe they thought me gone mad--with fright, maybe.
I delivered a regular lecture. My dear boys, it was no good bothering.
Keep a look-out? Well, you may guess I watched the fog for the signs
of lifting as a cat watches a mouse; but for anything else our eyes
were of no more use to us than if we had been buried miles deep in a heap
of cotton-wool. It felt like it too--choking, warm, stifling. Besides, all
I said, though it sounded extravagant, was absolutely true to fact.
What we afterwards alluded to as an attack was really an attempt at repulse.
The action was very far from being aggressive--it was not even defensive,
in the usual sense: it was undertaken under the stress of desperation,
and in its essence was purely protective.
"It developed itself, I should say, two hours after the fog lifted,
and its commencement was at a spot, roughly speaking,
about a mile and a half below Kurtz's station. We had just
floundered and flopped round a bend, when I saw an islet, a mere
grassy hummock of bright green, in the middle of the stream.
It was the only thing of the kind; but as we opened the reach more,
I perceived it was the head of a long sandbank, or rather of a chain
of shallow patches stretching down the middle of the river.
They were discolored, just awash, and the whole lot was seen
just under the water, exactly as a man's backbone is seen
running down the middle of his back under the skin.
Now, as far as I did see, I could go to the right or to
the left of this. I didn't know either channel, of course.
The banks looked pretty well alike, the depth appeared the same;
but as I had been informed the station was on the west side,
I naturally headed for the western passage.
"No sooner had we fairly entered it than I became aware it was much
narrower than I had supposed. To the left of us there was the long
uninterrupted shoal, and to the right a high, steep bank heavily
overgrown with bushes. Above the bush the trees stood in serried ranks.
The twigs overhung the current thickly, and from distance to distance
a large limb of some tree projected rigidly over the stream.
It was then well on in the afternoon, the face of the forest was gloomy,
and a broad strip of shadow had already fallen on the water.
In this shadow we steamed up--very slowly, as you may imagine.
I sheered her well inshore--the water being deepest near the bank,
as the sounding-pole informed me.
"One of my hungry and forbearing friends was sounding in the bows
just below me. This steamboat was exactly like a decked scow.
On the deck there were two little teak-wood houses, with doors and windows.
The boiler was in the fore-end, and the machinery right astern.
Over the whole there was a light roof, supported on stanchions.
The funnel projected through that roof, and in front of the funnel
a small cabin built of light planks served for a pilot-house.
It contained a couch, two camp-stools, a loaded Martini-Henry
leaning in one corner, a tiny table, and the steering-wheel.
It had a wide door in front and a broad shutter at each side.
All these were always thrown open, of course. I spent my days perched
up there on the extreme fore-end of that roof, before the door.
At night I slept, or tried to, on the couch. An athletic black
belonging to some coast tribe, and educated by my poor predecessor,
was the helmsman. He sported a pair of brass earrings, wore a blue
cloth wrapper from the waist to the ankles, and thought all the world
of himself. He was the most unstable kind of fool I had ever seen.
He steered with no end of a swagger while you were by; but if he lost
sight of you, he became instantly the prey of an abject funk,
and would let that cripple of a steamboat get the upper hand of him
in a minute.
"I was looking down at the sounding-pole, and feeling much annoyed
to see at each try a little more of it stick out of that river,
when I saw my poleman give up the business suddenly, and stretch himself
flat on the deck, without even taking the trouble to haul his pole in.
He kept hold on it though, and it trailed in the water.
At the same time the fireman, whom I could also see below me,
sat down abruptly before his furnace and ducked his head.
I was amazed. Then I had to look at the river mighty quick,
because there was a snag in the fairway. Sticks, little sticks,
were flying about--thick: they were whizzing before my nose,
dropping below me, striking behind me against my pilot-house.
All this time the river, the shore, the woods, were very quiet--
perfectly quiet. I could only hear the heavy splashing thump
of the stern-wheel and the patter of these things. We cleared
the snag clumsily. Arrows, by Jove! We were being shot at!
I stepped in quickly to close the shutter on the land side.
That fool-helmsman, his hands on the spokes, was lifting his knees high,
stamping his feet, champing his mouth, like a reined-in horse.
Confound him! And we were staggering within ten feet of the bank.
I had to lean right out to swing the heavy shutter, and I saw
a face amongst the leaves on the level with my own, looking at me
very fierce and steady; and then suddenly, as though a veil had
been removed from my eyes, I made out, deep in the tangled gloom,
naked breasts, arms, legs, glaring eyes,--the bush was swarming
with human limbs in movement, glistening, of bronze color.
The twigs shook, swayed, and rustled, the arrows flew out
of them, and then the shutter came to. `Steer her straight,'
I said to the helmsman. He held his head rigid, face forward;
but his eyes rolled, he kept on lifting and setting down
his feet gently, his mouth foamed a little. `Keep quiet!'
I said in a fury. I might just as well have ordered a tree
not to sway in the wind. I darted out. Below me there was
a great scuffle of feet on the iron deck; confused exclamations;
a voice screamed, `Can you turn back?' I caught shape of a
V-shaped ripple on the water ahead. What? Another snag!
A fusillade burst out under my feet. The pilgrims had opened with
their Winchesters, and were simply squirting lead into that bush.
A deuce of a lot of smoke came up and drove slowly forward.
I swore at it. Now I couldn't see the ripple or the snag either.
I stood in the doorway, peering, and the arrows came in swarms.
They might have been poisoned, but they looked as though
they wouldn't kill a cat. The bush began to howl.
Our wood-cutters raised a warlike whoop; the report of a rifle
just at my back deafened me. I glanced over my shoulder,
and the pilot-house was yet full of noise and smoke when I made
a dash at the wheel. The fool-nigger had dropped everything,
to throw the shutter open and let off that Martini-Henry. He stood
before the wide opening, glaring, and I yelled at him to come back,
while I straightened the sudden twist out of that steamboat.
There was no room to turn even if I had wanted to, the snag
was somewhere very near ahead in that confounded smoke,
there was no time to lose, so I just crowded her into the bank--
right into the bank, where I knew the water was deep.
"We tore slowly along the overhanging bushes in a whirl of broken
twigs and flying leaves. The fusillade below stopped short,
as I had foreseen it would when the squirts got empty.
I threw my head back to a glinting whizz that traversed
the pilot-house, in at one shutter-hole and out at the other.
Looking past that mad helmsman, who was shaking the empty rifle
and yelling at the shore, I saw vague forms of men running
bent double, leaping, gliding, distinct, incomplete, evanescent.
Something big appeared in the air before the shutter, the rifle
went overboard, and the man stepped back swiftly, looked at me
over his shoulder in an extraordinary, profound, familiar manner,
and fell upon my feet. The side of his head hit the wheel twice,
and the end of what appeared a long cane clattered round and knocked
over a little camp-stool. It looked as though after wrenching that
thing from somebody ashore he had lost his balance in the effort.
The thin smoke had blown away, we were clear of the snag,
and looking ahead I could see that in another hundred yards
or so I would be free to sheer off, away from the bank;
but my feet felt so very warm and wet that I had to look down.
The man had rolled on his back and stared straight up at me;
both his hands clutched that cane. It was the shaft of a spear that,
either thrown or lunged through the opening, had caught him
in the side just below the ribs; the blade had gone in out
of sight, after making a frightful gash; my shoes were full;
a pool of blood lay very still, gleaming dark-red under the wheel;
his eyes shone with an amazing luster. The fusillade burst out again.
He looked at me anxiously, gripping the spear like something precious,
with an air of being afraid I would try to take it away from him.
I had to make an effort to free my eyes from his gaze and attend
to the steering. With one hand I felt above my head for the line
of the steam-whistle, and jerked out screech after screech hurriedly.
The tumult of angry and warlike yells was checked instantly,
and then from the depths of the woods went out such a tremulous
and prolonged wail of mournful fear and utter despair as may be
imagined to follow the flight of the last hope from the earth.
There was a great commotion in the bush; the shower of arrows stopped,
a few dropping shots rang out sharply--then silence, in which
the languid beat of the stern-wheel came plainly to my ears.
I put the helm hard a-starboard at the moment when the pilgrim
in pink pyjamas, very hot and agitated, appeared in the doorway.
`The manager sends me--' he began in an official tone,
and stopped short. `Good God!' he said, glaring at the wounded man.
"We two whites stood over him, and his lustrous and inquiring
glance enveloped us both. I declare it looked as though he would
presently put to us some question in an understandable language;
but he died without uttering a sound, without moving a limb,
without twitching a muscle. Only in the very last moment, as though
in response to some sign we could not see, to some whisper we could
not hear, he frowned heavily, and that frown gave to his black
death-mask an inconceivably somber, brooding, and menacing expression.
The luster of inquiring glance faded swiftly into vacant glassiness.
`Can you steer?' I asked the agent eagerly. He looked very dubious;
but I made a grab at his arm, and he understood at once I
meant him to steer whether or no. To tell you the truth,
I was morbidly anxious to change my shoes and socks. `He is dead,'
murmured the fellow, immensely impressed. `No doubt about it,'
said I, tugging like mad at the shoe-laces. `And, by the way,
I suppose Mr. Kurtz is dead as well by this time.'
"For the moment that was the dominant thought. There was a sense
of extreme disappointment, as though I had found out I had been
striving after something altogether without a substance.
I couldn't have been more disgusted if I had traveled all this way
for the sole purpose of talking with Mr. Kurtz. Talking with.
. . . I flung one shoe overboard, and became aware
that that was exactly what I had been looking forward to--
a talk with Kurtz. I made the strange discovery that I had
never imagined him as doing, you know, but as discoursing.
I didn't say to myself, `Now I will never see him,'
or `Now I will never shake him by the hand,' but, `Now I
will never hear him.' The man presented himself as a voice.
Not of course that I did not connect him with some sort of action.
Hadn't I been told in all the tones of jealousy and admiration
that he had collected, bartered, swindled, or stolen more ivory
than all the other agents together? That was not the point.
The point was in his being a gifted creature, and that of all his
gifts the one that stood out pre-eminently, that carried with it
a sense of real presence, was his ability to talk, his words--
the gift of expression, the bewildering, the illuminating,
the most exalted and the most contemptible, the pulsating
stream of light, or the deceitful flow from the heart of
an impenetrable darkness.
"The other shoe went flying unto the devil-god of that river.
I thought, `By Jove! it's all over. We are too late; he has vanished--
the gift has vanished, by means of some spear, arrow, or club.
I will never hear that chap speak after all,'--and my sorrow
had a startling extravagance of emotion, even such as I had
noticed in the howling sorrow of these savages in the bush.
I couldn't have felt more of lonely desolation somehow, had I been
robbed of a belief or had missed my destiny in life. . . . Why
do you sigh in this beastly way, somebody? Absurd? Well, absurd.
Good Lord! mustn't a man ever--Here, give me some tobacco."
. . .
There was a pause of profound stillness, then a match flared,
and Marlow's lean face appeared, worn, hollow, with downward folds
and dropped eyelids, with an aspect of concentrated attention;
and as he took vigorous draws at his pipe, it seemed to retreat and
advance out of the night in the regular flicker of the tiny flame.
The match went out.
"Absurd!" he cried. "This is the worst of trying to tell. . . . Here you
all are, each moored with two good addresses, like a hulk with two anchors,
a butcher round one corner, a policeman round another, excellent appetites,
and temperature normal--you hear--normal from year's end to year's end.
And you say, Absurd! Absurd be--exploded! Absurd! My dear boys, what can
you expect from a man who out of sheer nervousness had just flung overboard
a pair of new shoes. Now I think of it, it is amazing I did not shed tears.
I am, upon the whole, proud of my fortitude. I was cut to the quick
at the idea of having lost the inestimable privilege of listening to the
gifted Kurtz. Of course I was wrong. The privilege was waiting for me.
Oh yes, I heard more than enough. And I was right, too. A voice.
He was very little more than a voice. And I heard--him--it--this voice--
other voices--all of them were so little more than voices--and the memory
of that time itself lingers around me, impalpable, like a dying vibration
of one immense jabber, silly, atrocious, sordid, savage, or simply mean,
without any kind of sense. Voices, voices--even the girl herself--now--"
He was silent for a long time.
"I laid the ghost of his gifts at last with a lie,"
he began suddenly. "Girl! What? Did I mention a girl?
Oh, she is out of it--completely. They--the women, I mean--
are out of it--should be out of it. We must help them to stay
in that beautiful world of their own, lest ours gets worse.
Oh, she had to be out of it. You should have heard the disinterred
body of Mr. Kurtz saying, `My Intended.' You would have
perceived directly then how completely she was out of it.
And the lofty frontal bone of Mr. Kurtz! They say the hair goes
on growing sometimes, but this--ah specimen, was impressively bald.
The wilderness had patted him on the head, and, behold, it was
like a ball--an ivory ball; it had caressed him, and--lo!--
he had withered; it had taken him, loved him, embraced him,
got into his veins, consumed his flesh, and sealed his soul to its
own by the inconceivable ceremonies of some devilish initiation.
He was its spoiled and pampered favorite. Ivory? I should think so.
Heaps of it, stacks of it. The old mud shanty was bursting with it.
You would think there was not a single tusk left either above
or below the ground in the whole country. `Mostly fossil,'
the manager had remarked disparagingly. It was no more fossil than I am;
but they call it fossil when it is dug up. It appears these niggers
do bury the tusks sometimes--but evidently they couldn't bury this
parcel deep enough to save the gifted Mr. Kurtz from his fate.
We filled the steamboat with it, and had to pile a lot on the deck.
Thus he could see and enjoy as long as he could see, because the
appreciation of this favor had remained with him to the last.
You should have heard him say, `My ivory.' Oh yes, I heard him.
`My Intended, my ivory, my station, my river, my--' everything belonged
to him. It made me hold my breath in expectation of hearing
the wilderness burst into a prodigious peal of laughter that would
shake the fixed stars in their places. Everything belonged to him--
but that was a trifle. The thing was to know what he belonged to,
how many powers of darkness claimed him for their own.
That was the reflection that made you creepy all over.
It was impossible--it was not good for one either--trying to imagine.
He had taken a high seat amongst the devils of the land--
I mean literally. You can't understand. How could you?--
with solid pavement under your feet, surrounded by kind neighbors
ready to cheer you or to fall on you, stepping delicately between
the butcher and the policeman, in the holy terror of scandal and
gallows and lunatic asylums--how can you imagine what particular
region of the first ages a man's untrammeled feet may take him
into by the way of solitude--utter solitude without a policeman--
by the way of silence, utter silence, where no warning voice
of a kind neighbor can be heard whispering of public opinion?
These little things make all the great difference.
When they are gone you must fall back upon your own
innate strength, upon your own capacity for faithfulness.
Of course you may be too much of a fool to go wrong--too dull
even to know you are being assaulted by the powers of darkness.
I take it, no fool ever made a bargain for his soul with the devil:
the fool is too much of a fool, or the devil too much of a devil--
I don't know which. Or you may be such a thunderingly exalted
creature as to be altogether deaf and blind to anything but heavenly
sights and sounds. Then the earth for you is only a standing place--
and whether to be like this is your loss or your gain I won't
pretend to say. But most of us are neither one nor the other.
The earth for us is a place to live in, where we must put up with sights,
with sounds, with smells too, by Jove!--breathe dead hippo,
so to speak, and not be contaminated. And there, don't you see?
Your strength comes in, the faith in your ability for the digging
of unostentatious holes to bury the stuff in--your power of devotion,
not to yourself, but to an obscure, back-breaking business.
And that's difficult enough. Mind, I am not trying to excuse or
even explain--I am trying to account to myself for--for--Mr. Kurtz--
for the shade of Mr. Kurtz. This initiated wraith from the back
of Nowhere honored me with its amazing confidence before it
vanished altogether. This was because it could speak English to me.
The original Kurtz had been educated partly in England, and--as he was
good enough to say himself--his sympathies were in the right place.
His mother was half-English, his father was half-French. All Europe
contributed to the making of Kurtz; and by-and-by I learned that,
most appropriately, the International Society for the Suppression
of Savage Customs had intrusted him with the making of a report,
for its future guidance. And he had written it too. I've seen it.
I've read it. It was eloquent, vibrating with eloquence,
but too high-strung, I think. Seventeen pages of close writing
he had found time for! But this must have been before his--
let us say--nerves, went wrong, and caused him to preside at certain
midnight dances ending with unspeakable rites, which--as far
as I reluctantly gathered from what I heard at various times--
were offered up to him--do you understand?--to Mr. Kurtz himself.
But it was a beautiful piece of writing. The opening paragraph,
however, in the light of later information, strikes me now as ominous.
He began with the argument that we whites, from the point of development
we had arrived at, `must necessarily appear to them [savages] in
the nature of supernatural beings--we approach them with the might
as of a deity,' and so on, and so on. `By the simple exercise
of our will we can exert a power for good practically unbounded,'
&c., &c. From that point he soared and took me with him.
The peroration was magnificent, though difficult to remember,
you know. It gave me the notion of an exotic Immensity ruled
by an august Benevolence. It made me tingle with enthusiasm.
This was the unbounded power of eloquence--of words--
of burning noble words. There were no practical hints to
interrupt the magic current of phrases, unless a kind of note
at the foot of the last page, scrawled evidently much later,
in an unsteady hand, may be regarded as the exposition of a method.
It was very simple, and at the end of that moving appeal to every
altruistic sentiment it blazed at you, luminous and terrifying,
like a flash of lightning in a serene sky: `Exterminate all
the brutes!' The curious part was that he had apparently
forgotten all about that valuable postscriptum, because, later on,
when he in a sense came to himself, he repeatedly entreated me
to take good care of `my pamphlet' (he called it), as it was
sure to have in the future a good influence upon his career.
I had full information about all these things, and, besides,
as it turned out, I was to have the care of his memory.
I've done enough for it to give me the indisputable right to lay it,
if I choose, for an everlasting rest in the dust-bin of progress,
amongst all the sweepings and, figuratively speaking, all the dead
cats of civilization. But then, you see, I can't choose.
He won't be forgotten. Whatever he was, he was not common.
He had the power to charm or frighten rudimentary souls into
an aggravated witch-dance in his honor; he could also fill
the small souls of the pilgrims with bitter misgivings:
he had one devoted friend at least, and he had conquered one
soul in the world that was neither rudimentary nor tainted with
self-seeking. No; I can't forget him, though I am not prepared to affirm
the fellow was exactly worth the life we lost in getting to him.
I missed my late helmsman awfully,--I missed him even while his
body was still lying in the pilot-house. Perhaps you will think it
passing strange this regret for a savage who was no more account
than a grain of sand in a black Sahara. Well, don't you see,
he had done something, he had steered; for months I had him at
my back--a help--an instrument. It was a kind of partnership.
He steered for me--I had to look after him, I worried about
his deficiencies, and thus a subtle bond had been created,
of which I only became aware when it was suddenly broken.
And the intimate profundity of that look he gave me when he received
his hurt remains to this day in my memory--like a claim of distant
kinship affirmed in a supreme moment.
"Poor fool! If he had only left that shutter alone.
He had no restraint, no restraint--just like Kurtz--a tree swayed
by the wind. As soon as I had put on a dry pair of slippers,
I dragged him out, after first jerking the spear out of his side,
which operation I confess I performed with my eyes shut tight.
His heels leaped together over the little door-step; his shoulders
were pressed to my breast; I hugged him from behind desperately.
Oh! he was heavy, heavy; heavier than any man on earth,
I should imagine. Then without more ado I tipped him overboard.
The current snatched him as though he had been a wisp of grass,
and I saw the body roll over twice before I lost sight
of it for ever. All the pilgrims and the manager were then
congregated on the awning-deck about the pilot-house,
chattering at each other like a flock of excited magpies,
and there was a scandalized murmur at my heartless promptitude.
What they wanted to keep that body hanging about for I can't guess.
Embalm it, maybe. But I had also heard another, and a very ominous,
murmur on the deck below. My friends the wood-cutters
were likewise scandalized, and with a better show of reason--
though I admit that the reason itself was quite inadmissible.
Oh, quite! I had made up my mind that if my late helmsman
was to be eaten, the fishes alone should have him.
He had been a very second-rate helmsman while alive, but now
he was dead he might have become a first-class temptation,
and possibly cause some startling trouble. Besides, I was
anxious to take the wheel, the man in pink pyjamas showing
himself a hopeless duffer at the business.
"This I did directly the simple funeral was over. We were going half-speed,
keeping right in the middle of the stream, and I listened to the talk
about me. They had given up Kurtz, they had given up the station;
Kurtz was dead, and the station had been burnt--and so on--and so on.
The red-haired pilgrim was beside himself with the thought that at
least this poor Kurtz had been properly revenged. `Say! We must
have made a glorious slaughter of them in the bush. Eh? What do
you think? Say?' He positively danced, the bloodthirsty little
gingery beggar. And he had nearly fainted when he saw the wounded man!
I could not help saying, `You made a glorious lot of smoke, anyhow.'
I had seen, from the way the tops of the bushes rustled and flew,
that almost all the shots had gone too high. You can't hit anything
unless you take aim and fire from the shoulder; but these chaps
fired from the hip with their eyes shut. The retreat, I maintained--
and I was right--was caused by the screeching of the steam-whistle. Upon
this they forgot Kurtz, and began to howl at me with indignant protests.
"The manager stood by the wheel murmuring confidentially about
the necessity of getting well away down the river before dark at
all events, when I saw in the distance a clearing on the river-side
and the outlines of some sort of building. `What's this?'
I asked. He clapped his hands in wonder. `The station!' he cried.
I edged in at once, still going half-speed.
"Through my glasses I saw the slope of a hill interspersed
with rare trees and perfectly free from undergrowth. A long
decaying building on the summit was half buried in the high grass;
the large holes in the peaked roof gaped black from afar;
the jungle and the woods made a background. There was no inclosure
or fence of any kind; but there had been one apparently, for near
the house half-a-dozen slim posts remained in a row, roughly trimmed,
and with their upper ends ornamented with round carved balls.
The rails, or whatever there had been between, had disappeared.
Of course the forest surrounded all that. The river-bank
was clear, and on the water-side I saw a white man under a hat
like a cart-wheel beckoning persistently with his whole arm.
Examining the edge of the forest above and below, I was almost
certain I could see movements--human forms gliding here and there.
I steamed past prudently, then stopped the engines and let her
drift down. The man on the shore began to shout, urging us to land.
`We have been attacked,' screamed the manager. `I know--I know.
It's all right,' yelled back the other, as cheerful as you please.
`Come along. It's all right. I am glad.'
"His aspect reminded me of something I had seen--something funny
I had seen somewhere. As I maneuvered to get alongside, I was
asking myself, `What does this fellow look like?' Suddenly I got it.
He looked like a harlequin. His clothes had been made of some stuff
that was brown holland probably, but it was covered with patches all over,
with bright patches, blue, red, and yellow,--patches on the back,
patches on front, patches on elbows, on knees; colored binding
round his jacket, scarlet edging at the bottom of his trousers;
and the sunshine made him look extremely gay and wonderfully neat withal,
because you could see how beautifully all this patching had been done.
A beardless, boyish face, very fair, no features to speak of,
nose peeling, little blue eyes, smiles and frowns chasing each other over
that open countenance like sunshine and shadow on a windswept plain.
`Look out, captain!' he cried; `there's a snag lodged in here
last night.' What! Another snag? I confess I swore shamefully.
I had nearly holed my cripple, to finish off that charming trip.
The harlequin on the bank turned his little pug nose up to me.
`You English?' he asked, all smiles. `Are you?' I shouted from the wheel.
The smiles vanished, and he shook his head as if sorry for my disappointment.
Then he brightened up. `Never mind!' he cried encouragingly.
`Are we in time?' I asked. `He is up there,' he replied, with a toss
of the head up the hill, and becoming gloomy all of a sudden.
His face was like the autumn sky, overcast one moment and bright the next.
"When the manager, escorted by the pilgrims, all of them armed
to the teeth, had gone to the house, this chap came on board.
`I say, I don't like this. These natives are in the bush,'
I said. He assured me earnestly it was all right.
`They are simple people,' he added; `well, I am glad you came.
It took me all my time to keep them off.' `But you said it
was all right,' I cried. `Oh, they meant no harm,' he said;
and as I stared he corrected himself, `Not exactly.'
Then vivaciously, `My faith, your pilot-house wants a clean up!'
In the next breath he advised me to keep enough steam
on the boiler to blow the whistle in case of any trouble.
`One good screech will do more for you than all your rifles.
They are simple people,' he repeated. He rattled away at such
a rate he quite overwhelmed me. He seemed to be trying to make
up for lots of silence, and actually hinted, laughing, that such
was the case. `Don't you talk with Mr. Kurtz?' I said.
`You don't talk with that man--you listen to him,' he exclaimed
with severe exaltation. `But now--' He waved his arm, and in
the twinkling of an eye was in the uttermost depths of despondency.
In a moment he came up again with a jump, possessed himself
of both my hands, shook them continuously, while he gabbled:
`Brother sailor . . . honor . . . pleasure . . . delight . . .
introduce myself . . . Russian . . . son of an arch-priest . .
. Government of Tambov . . . What? Tobacco! English tobacco;
the excellent English tobacco! Now, that's brotherly.
Smoke? Where's a sailor that does not smoke?'
"The pipe soothed him, and gradually I made out he had
run away from school, had gone to sea in a Russian ship;
ran away again; served some time in English ships; was now
reconciled with the arch-priest. He made a point of that.
`But when one is young one must see things, gather experience,
ideas; enlarge the mind.' `Here!' I interrupted.
`You can never tell! Here I have met Mr. Kurtz,' he said,
youthfully solemn and reproachful. I held my tongue after that.
It appears he had persuaded a Dutch trading-house on the coast to fit
him out with stores and goods, and had started for the interior
with a light heart, and no more idea of what would happen to him
than a baby. He had been wandering about that river for nearly
two years alone, cut off from everybody and everything.
`I am not so young as I look. I am twenty-five,' he said.
`At first old Van Shuyten would tell me to go to the devil,'
he narrated with keen enjoyment; `but I stuck to him, and talked
and talked, till at last he got afraid I would talk the hind-leg off
his favorite dog, so he gave me some cheap things and a few guns,
and told me he hoped he would never see my face again.
Good old Dutchman, Van Shuyten. I've sent him one small lot
of ivory a year ago, so that he can't call me a little thief when I
get back. I hope he got it. And for the rest I don't care.
I had some wood stacked for you. That was my old house.
Did you see?'
"I gave him Towson's book. He made as though he would kiss me,
but restrained himself. `The only book I had left, and I
thought I had lost it,' he said, looking at it ecstatically.
`So many accidents happen to a man going about alone, you know.
Canoes get upset sometimes--and sometimes you've got to clear
out so quick when the people get angry.' He thumbed the pages.
`You made notes in Russian?' I asked. He nodded. `I thought they
were written in cipher,' I said. He laughed, then became serious.
`I had lots of trouble to keep these people off,' he said.
`Did they want to kill you?' I asked. `Oh no!' he cried,
and checked himself. `Why did they attack us?' I pursued.
He hesitated, then said shamefacedly, `They don't want him to go.'
`Don't they?' I said, curiously. He nodded a nod full of mystery
and wisdom. `I tell you,' he cried, `this man has enlarged my mind.'
He opened his arms wide, staring at me with his little blue eyes
that were perfectly round."